Tuesday 9 August 2011

Exercise, anyone?

Why, oh why, is it so hard to get oneself to exercise? It's good for you - even better than peas and carrots combined. Eish, but I don't likey...I'd rather eat that plate of spinach, or go hungry altogether, than run or bike or step myself into a sweaty mess. But I also know that no amount of nuts or salad will do to your body that which a good work-out will. There's no way around it...

So it started this week when I decided to weigh myself after coming back from another holiday which always includes a lot of restaurant food and no time for exercise because of all the sightseeing, boat cruises, driving from town to city, booking in, checking out, packing, unpacking - totally exhausting!

The bathroom scale is one of those ornaments in the house that you don't display along with the glass vase from Venice or the miniature perfume bottles on the bathroom counter. So after locating it from underneath the layer of dust  - like I said : it does not form part of the dusting routine of other ornaments - I had to figure out how it actually works...electronic and all, this particular one.

It was not a pretty picture. Yes, I did not see figures on the scale but rather a boatload of chocolate bars, piled mile high, laughing at me from the tiny screen of this fancy-schmancy electronic scale. Of course this is untrue but it was my mind playing tricks with me - where in the world would you get a scale with cartoons, seriously. Although it would be a good idea to scare people right into a gym membership if the scale could stick out its tongue at you or roll its eyes at you. Now that would be something...

I immediately started a treasure hunt in my closet to find my yoga clothes - it's been a while since I've seen or used them. Alas I found them - they did not make it to the charity bin after all - and lo and behold, found a pair that still fits my current state. Tightly, but not bursting at the seams, yet...I figured that the only way I would start doing any of the moves they call "exercise" I need to be comfortable at all hours of the day, so that whenever I feel the need (like right after eating a cookie or watching the Food Channel) I can just fall down there and then and do a few sit-ups or squats or tummy rubs...

It's just so hard! And so boring. And it hurts. And makes you even hungrier. And grumpier. Which means I must do something wrong because everytime my husband finishes one of his marathon long runs on the treadmill, he tells me he feels GREAT - that exact word. Great. While he's breathing like an oxygen-deprived lab monkey - don't ask me what this means, I made it up - and gobbling down water like a camel in the Sahara desert, and gleaming with sweat like a cast member from "Jersey Shore". Maybe that's it: I don't like the "face" of exercise - it's not very becoming.

This change of pace and rationing of food has another downside for me. Another contributing factor to my sleeplessness: the growling noises from my stomach prevented me from falling asleep last night. Just lying there, listening, wondering if I should get up and read a magazine (which would inevitably have a food section and ads of perfect bodies in bikinis) or go to the computer to write this blog, or ignore my own body's needs for food in exchange for it's need to sleep, 'cause once I'm asleep, the torture will be over till tomorrow morning when the squatting and rationing starts all over again.

Well, eventually I fell asleep and now it's a new day. I'm here, sitting in my yoga gear (I'm a poet and I don't even know it) for what it's worth. A little stiff from yesterday's initiation squats. But I will not quit - not for the moment though, but I'll let you know, about my new glow, before the first snow in early No' (November, that is) - I'm trying to kill time here people...it's either this or the treadmill.

Till next time - happy running!

3 comments:

  1. I hear ya! I feel EXACTLY the same!!!!!

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  2. Die osse stap aan deur die stowwe:
    Nie die osse van Jan F. Celliers,
    Maar rooi Afrikaners en Mowwe
    Van die voorste voortrekker, Naude.

    Die waens van Celliers was dit ook nie,
    Want oom Neelsie se wa bly weer staan;
    Praat nooit van die sukkel en spook nie,
    En daar voor kom die Kaffers al aan.

    Had Moses dit swaar met Gods ou Volk,
    O laat staan nie vir Pieter Naude;
    Mismoedige Neelsies en Rouvolk
    Het vir hom ook grys hare gegee.

    Maar wanneer wis Pieter nie raad nie ?
    En vir watter gevaar sou hy stuit ?
    Hy word nie vervaard, ook nie kwaad nie!
    Maar al bars dit hy beur tog bo-uit!

    So trek hul al verder en verder
    En gesels as die kampvure brand;
    Piet luister en skrik, - want O Herder!
    Almal droom van 'n Luilekkerland!

    2 Kanaan, O Kanaan!

    En werklik na vele gevare
    Land hul aan in 'n skone vallei;
    Geen roofdiere daar ofbarbare: ,,
    Span maar uit, want die trek is verby!"

    Ja hier is die Land der Belofte
    En die spruitjie is hulle Jordaan;
    Elkeen sweer 'n dure gelofte,
    Nooit weer t'rug na Egipte te gaan.

    Die bergstrome glinster en klater
    En kom skuimend bergaf na die grond,
    Wat vrugte is groei langs die water,
    Ryp en soet dat dit smelt in die mond.

    Die koedoes kom skuur teen die waens,
    Die swartwitpens drink melk uit 'n bak,
    Die blou-wildebeeste kom saens
    Na die laer op hul dooie gemak.

    Die bruinvolk rook deur-'n-bank dagga
    In 'n salige niksdoen en droom;
    Oom Bart se Klein Bart ry 'n kwagga
    Sommer bloots sonder halter of toom.

    Die rooibokke wei by die tente,
    Net so mak soos die bok van 'n wa:
    'n Landstreek van Leipoldtse lente
    Waar geen lewenslas hinder of pla.

    Die grond hoef hulle net maar te kielie
    Vir Malherbe se lande vol graan;
    Of Jona se eersteprys-mielie
    Trou bewaak deur 'n mak bobbejaan.

    3 Adipositas Praecox

    Die trekkers word dikker en vetter
    In die Luilekkerland in die kloof,
    Tot skraal Piet Verster word gesetter, -
    'n Profeet van die lekker geloof!

    Geen naat wat nog hou aan 'n baadjie,
    Verantwoordelikste knope spring af,
    Ou maer Jan de Jaer kry 'n vaatjie;
    -Tot die hond is te lui om te blaf.

    Die rietskraalste nooi word al plomper
    En die vrouens versit meer geen tree,
    Beweging word gaandeweg lomper;
    ,,Wag te erg is, 's te erg" se Naude.

    4 Naude loquitur

    ,,'n Vyand bedreig ons, O Broeders,
    En 'n vyand op wie ons moet let;
    Te glad sitjul tawwerts, O Moeders,
    Trekkerswee is per slot trekkersvet!

    Veel beter om eind'loos te swerwe,
    Teen gevare ons man weer te staan,
    As hier in gemaak te verderwe
    En in smorende vet te vergaan!

    Veel voorspoed word later 'n ketting,
    En 'n dwing'land die luie gemak;
    Te gronde gaan ons deur vervetting;
    More trek ons van hier sak en pak!"

    5 Vox Populi

    ,,Die voorstel", se Koos van der Merwe,
    ,,Sal ek graag sekondcer, Kommandant!"
    ,,As julle twee lus het vir swerwe,
    Goed - maar ons bly in Luilekkerland."

    ,,Hoor! Hoor!" roep nou al die on rondes,
    ,,Wie 't dan sinnigheid nou weer te trek?
    Solank as die vet maar gesond is."
    En so bly hulle sit op die plek.

    Die aand nog het Koos van der Merwe
    En Naude die ou vet-span verlaat;
    Hul bene na swoege en swerwe
    Is al weer van normale formaat.

    Maar hoe dit met die ander gesteld is
    Dit weet Nugter. 'n Rondloper-Ier
    Beweer dat hul almal gesmelt is
    En derhalwe die naam Vet-rivier!

    6 Haec fabula docet

    Kyk kinders en nou kom die kwessie,
    Wat 'n mens uit die storie moet leer:
    Vergeet, nommer een, nooit die les nie,
    Vet ofmaer, om jul ouers te eer!

    Of mense al gekskeer of hoe maak,
    Praat die waarheid rondborstig prontuit;
    Onthou dat jul deure moet toemaak
    En vergeet nie jul neuse te snuit!
    A.G. Visser - "Lotos-Land" (1929)

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  3. like mother like daughter

    ReplyDelete