Monday, 19 September 2011

The inner world and workings of a woman's wallet

Most women can survive on a shipwrecked island for at least a week - okay, even a month or maybe more- solely on the contents of their purses/handbags/wallets. Or if the airline loses your luggage (as if this ever happens - lol!!) - no problem, the purse will provide you with the most basic of necessities. Between this and your carry-on suitcase, the holiday is half catered for.

Make-up, medication (most of the samples in my handbag are already expired, but what the heck and yes, I'm at that stage now where heartburn is the fifth wheel on my health wagon, but I'll be damned if I have to give up the odd hot-dog, the all-too-regular spaghetti napolitana, those beloved rice krispies bars - hang on, I have to get me one right now - and for good measure: rusks for breakfast, lunch and dinner-such a versatile snack), reading material (why is no one ever on time anymore?) , cell phone (which I'm always too late to answer), a scarf ( so versatile: to jazz up the ole outfit and why am I always cold?), band-aids (for that new pair of shoes that always remind you it maybe wasn't worth that fortune, even though you obviously bought them on sale...husbands always go for that one), a half-eaten chocolate bar or three (once again, why is no one ever on time - eating when frustrated) etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

A real treasure chest though, is my wallet. The one that's usually used for cash and credit cards. Supposed to be, I should rather say. Show me the woman for whom their wallet does not serve as a family album too - and a binder of sorts for all and any kinds of vouchers, coupons, gift cards, dry cleaning slips, old receipts and even the odd love note (can't a girl be sentimental?).

I am the only one who is properly trained to open said wallet, because the slightest opening in the wrong direction can cause a mishap bordering on a fatality. One needs both hands and all ten fingers in different positions, to keep everything and anything from falling out and getting lost or worse, for everyone else to see! It's not just a matter of opening it up and taking out the cash. There are a few hurdles to cross and navigate through before said cash compartment can be reached.

Problem is, this wallet can get so congested and filled to overflowing, that one usually loses track of its actual contents. That's when you "discover" the half-off, scrath-and-save, win-your-total-purchase, ten-percent-Tuesday and spouse-eats-for-free, just a day or week (or maybe month) too late! Hey, where must one find the time to sift through every piece of paper in this wallet?Too busy collecting more stamps and vouchers, I guess...It doesn't help that most wallets don't have alphabetical folders for all these savings-to-be-had.

Once in a while though, I actually do remember such discount coupon while in the store and standing at the cashier when she asks: "are you a member/are you on our mailing list for special coupons/do you collect rewards?". "Yes ma'am" is what I then answer back to her in those clear moments of remembrance of such dear discounts. Listen,  I like to save as much as the person next to me, and oh, how sweet it feels when that coupon is scanned and it shows a "minus" on the dollar amount you have to pay. And then of course they give you another coupon for next time - knowing you'll probably forget to use it anyway.

Of course I know that the store never ever loses out when you get a discount, but why would I pay more if I can pay less? Civil question. And, like I say, that once in a blue moon when you do get the benefit of a coupon: priceless!

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